SPEAKER_00: 0:04

Welcome to the Brilliant Fertility Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Katie Rose, and this podcast to help illuminate the path ahead of you. With expert interviews, clinical pearls, and real client success stories, my intention is to bring you hope for what's possible on this journey and to give you tools and resources to navigate the ups and downs on the road before you. If you find this podcast helpful, don't forget to subscribe on your favorite listening platform. And I have a big request. If you have a minute, can you leave us a five-star review? And let us know what did you learn? What did you come away with? Did you leave with that spark of hope? This helps more people like you find the podcast. My mission is to support as many humans as possible on their path to become parents. And by you sharing and subscribing, you're part of that mission too. And I'm so grateful for you for being here. Megan is the co-founder of Zesty and the Becoming Zesty podcast, which is how I found her. Gosh, seven, eight, maybe nine years ago, even we talk about that a little bit in this episode. And Megan trains coaches, practitioners, leaders with the tools for faster transformation. So when we find ourselves fighting ourselves along the way, the use of functional NLP, and I've found especially the way Megan uses NLP, is just incredible to create a very compassionate coaching environment and change work. Can't wait for you to hear this discussion. We uh we get into some fun stories, a really wild story about her first labor and how it just totally stopped at the point of active labor. So I can't wait for you to hear that part and uh let's take it away. Megan, I'm so happy to see your face. I'm so happy to have you on the podcast. And um I think it would be kind of fun for people to know the the 10 minutes leading into us actually hitting record, all the little bullshit that happened that made us go, is this a sign or do we push through? Which is like a whole metaphor for life, I feel like. It's the never-ending question.

SPEAKER_01: 3:15

Am I getting redirected or is it time to double down?

SPEAKER_00: 3:19

Yes. And uh, so the internet went out in my building. It's the first time I've actually recorded with a guest in my building. And of course, the internet goes out, then my headphone glitches, there's a weird buzzing sound. And it's like, okay, are we just not supposed to do this today? Or is this one of those things where it's like, no, you must persevere. Like, this is your sign to overcome.

SPEAKER_01: 3:47

Right. And I know if we didn't do it today, I'm traveling for like the next month. And so there's uh it's always that question of what is it supposed to be in a month, and then I'm gonna have something genius to say in a month, or are we supposed to have some lesson from this from this hiccup?

SPEAKER_00: 4:07

Yeah, and I think that comes into play with so many things in life. You know, people are always asking me about these like really big hard decisions on their fertility journey and like the timing of things is so pertinent because it's like, oh, I'm doing IVF. Do I time it this cycle? Do my do my embryo transfer next month, or do I do it the month after? And it's like, you know, leaning into trusting that whatever you choose to do in this moment is going to result in the lessons you're meant to learn.

SPEAKER_01: 4:41

Oh, I can only imagine when you're making a decision like that, that then dictates so many other things in your life of how many rounds, when when you would actually have a baby, then there are it is so much harder to just be like, oh, it's a podcast. I'll do it in a month. Because I was like, should we just reschedule Katie? Right? I mean, it's a podcast.

SPEAKER_00: 5:05

It is, it's not yeah, and we would have been fine no matter what. Yes. So it's like these little how we practice in these little moments might really help us in those bigger moments. But yeah, I mean, those are the day-to-day conversations that I'm having with my clients. And you know, part of the reason I wanted to have you on the podcast is because I've learned so much from you through our trainings with NLP and hypnosis and timeline technique, but ultimately and how these all play into our day-to-day habits and how those habits, not just of like when do we brush our teeth, but like our habitual thoughts and how our underlying subconscious patterns play into our ability to create healthier habits. Like those are the conversations that I'm having with people that really help them to make these decisions. Like if I tell someone, hey, we've got a minimum three months that I would really love to get some foundational habits in place to prepare your body for a healthy pregnancy. And it's not just about checking things off on a list, but like, where do we begin with creating foundational habits in our subconscious? That's why I wanted you here.

SPEAKER_01: 6:25

Yes. I so I just fresh off of a week-long training, our trainings, our NLP trainings are as Katie knows, she's been to it, but it's seven days, very intensive. And one of the things that that stood out to me, it stands out to me every time, but what stood out to me this time because I had a really good friend attending. And so she's there not for health reasons, she's there for um language reasons and business reasons and subconscious, you know, reprogramming of believing she can have everything she wants. And so goes she goes through the week and does all the processes, right? And then on the last day, we're getting in the car to leave, we're getting the car to go to the airport, and she's sitting in the back with me, and I know her so well. I know she never wants to sit in the back in the middle because she's has um a history with a car crash that makes her really, really nervous in the car when someone else is driving. And so she's sitting next to me, and all of a sudden she's like, I feel totally fine and good, and I'm not worried at all. And I'm like, Well, did you work on that this week? Because I don't know what she did for every exercise, right? There's you know, 30 different times where you could do an exercise. So there's the phobia model. Maybe she worked on that, and she's like, No, I didn't even remember that I had a mean, I didn't even think to work on the fact that the car is a trigger. And I just thought that part is so cool. And this has happened other times. People came for coaching and then they realized they were not you doing their OCD um habits anymore, right? Like they were no longer worried about certain things, and they did not focus on that or try to try to shift that. But when we clear out these deep emotional, significant emotional events from our childhood, um, deep patterns and habits and beliefs about how we are in the world, what we deserve in the world, what it takes to be healthy, what it takes to trust your intuition around your body. Like when we get to those core things, then all this other stuff shifts that maybe she didn't even think to work on, right?

SPEAKER_00: 8:45

Yeah, it's all connected. It's so cool. And I had that experience too. So, yes, I want to say what I did the training in April of 2023, the level one training. And I was so lucky that I stayed in Airbnb with a bunch of other people who were in the training, and we were all like we're very type A individuals who like we don't just go home from the training and put our feet up. We were like, let's keep practicing. So yeah. I feel like it really just amplified the experience so much to like work on each other. And I had, I think, like the biggest core belief that shifted for me during that training, or the realization that I had, we were just we were sitting in one of the parts of the training where you and Alex were just sort of telling a story. And I had this like punch in the gut moment of realizing I am afraid of my own power. And I had to just like excuse myself to go to the bathroom and like cry for a while because I was so shaken by that. Like I had never consciously been aware of that. And then realizing how has that shown up in so many times in my life? What habits did I create unconsciously to not be in my own power because I was afraid of it? I had this belief that when I was in my power, the people who were supposed to love me the most would leave me. And when we did timeline technique on that belief, like everything shifted. There was so much. Like the ability to, you know, show up and do a live presentation in front of, you know, a hundred people was suddenly not something that created a panic level anxiety in my body. It was like, oh, like I am I'm naturally okay in this scenario. I don't have to fake my way through it anymore. And how does that play out, you know, in other people's stories? Like if they set this goal of like, all right, it's January 1st and I'm gonna eat really, really clean and this is it. This is like now I'm gonna be healthy. But like, what happens if they have these unconscious beliefs that they're not worthy of health? They don't deserve to have everything they want.

SPEAKER_01: 11:21

Right. And then we get to see in reality what shows up. We get to see what those act, we get to see what those hidden beliefs are. Because whatever's underneath there is what's gonna show up real time. I think, Katie, I had a similar one, like a belief that came through really, really strongly, like your with the power one for me. It was about essentially not trusting myself to not override my body. So when I trained for a marathon, this is a long time ago, before my daughter was born. So she's 15. But when I did train for a marathon, I ran myself into the ground. I got shingles at 27. Like I had there was no other reason other than just like literally stressing myself from choosing to run for fun. And I had no other stressors in my life. I lived in Hawaii, it just was such an interesting manifestation of physical symptoms when I was choosing, I was choosing to do this, but I couldn't figure out my limit. I would have headaches for like three hours because I would run so hard. I would dehydrate myself, whatever it was, and then just be out. And then I would go and do do it again as if that were a normal thing. And so then later on, starting a business and having children, and now I'm like putting the brakes on in a lot of different places because I'm not trusting myself. I'm not trusting myself to go back, to not go past that point. And I was at a retreat where they had um a cold plunge, and one of my mentors who is a male was going in the one next to me, and he's like, What do you say? What do you say we do six minutes? And um, I hadn't done a cold plunge in a really long time and kind of forgot like what the general timing was, which later I asked around, and people are like, you know, three minutes is a long time. So I was like, Six minutes? Okay, it's on, right? Like that competitive nature kicked in and I did it. And after he was like, I don't really do six minutes, I just I just wanted to see what would happen. I was just impressed that you were all in. And so I just stayed in there, I just did it. And then I had a headache for like the next four days. It was not a great time in my cycle to be doing that kind of thing. But so I started to see this pattern showing up of I don't really trust myself to stop at the limit. And a lot of people will find this with their health journey, and then they're like, I don't even really trust myself to do things that are healthy for me, like um, let's say eating healthier or moving more because I'm going to turn into the person who has to do it perfect and can never have um one drop of sugar and can never and then maybe don't even do anything at all because they're afraid they'll c go too far. Do you see this with just kind of the people you're working with and the package?

SPEAKER_00: 14:22

I do for some. And and that was actually true for me as well, with a disordered eating history and like very black and white. And it's like, well, if I've already messed up for the day, then this day is done. So might as well just eat it all. Like, doesn't matter anymore. And so, yes, I absolutely observed that.

SPEAKER_01: 14:41

And that seems to be a pattern with all of us type A, who did really well in school and then decided to go for success in our business or success in our life or our family. And it what I've seen a pattern is almost like the better someone it was at doing the school thing well, like they were really great at getting good grades or doing what the coach said, the better they are at that, the harder it is to really tap into what is my body telling me. Because those people that we worked with were so good, they could override anything. They'd be like, okay, you tell me to do this on Monday, Wednesday, Friday, we're eating raisins upside down, okay. Right? Like, they could do it, and that's great. I'm like, most compliant client ever feels like we get great results. And those were not our clients that were getting great results with health. Those were the ones that it wouldn't match up. I'm like, if I were doing all that, I think I'd feel great. It wouldn't match up with what their actual results is. And so it kept coming back to not really being able to hear their own body, their own signals. For me, overriding in an extreme way. For some people, just not even hearing them to begin with.

SPEAKER_00: 15:56

Absolutely. Yeah. And oh man, there's like so many tangents. I could take this on. I'm trying to allow my brain to just like land on one. But I think in my personal experience, like, yes, I could override. Part of it was like my own competitive nature of, you know, if I we were told we have this project, it's due on this date. Whoever gets it in first, and I mean, I even did this at your training. There was there was a little competition, and I was like, of course I'm gonna win that competition. But like it hadn't even been on my mind until it was part of it. And so just like noticing those patterns of how even I still do that. And then now I have tools to step back and go, like, is this something I actually want that would be good for me and everyone in my vicinity? Or am I just doing this for the sake of being type A? Winning or winning, um, getting the A plus. And, you know, there are some things that we might be able to see a positive result, like in business, but with fertility, with how that plays out in health, it could just lead to more problems. It could lead to burnout if we're not really mindful.

SPEAKER_01: 17:18

Yeah, it's almost like the opposite in that slowing down is the most important factor when you're preparing your body for a baby. And slowing down is not how we were taught that we win. That that wasn't the success formula, that was the opposite. You push harder, you do more, uh, you try harder, right? And then you win. You turn in more assignments, you get better grades. So this programming is so deep of this is how I receive love, this is how I receive acceptance, this is how I receive significance. And now most now I'm being asked to do the opposite. Like I'm asked to just take care of myself, like really fuel my body, really like come calm it down, calm down my nervous system, be able to hear its message, which in today, I mean, in today's culture, basically most of the time the message is you're doing too much. Would you agree, Katie?

SPEAKER_00: 18:23

Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I think that's it really challenges everything that we've been raised with, especially with the like the the idea of what a healthy habit is. It's like, well, the healthy habit is we have this checklist and I get 30 grams of protein with each meal, and I get my 10 grams of fiber, and I have all my vegetables, and I do my meditation, and I have my 30 minutes of movement every day. And it's like you could check all those things off a list and assume that you have these healthy habits. But is that actually what your body was asking for?

SPEAKER_01: 18:55

Yeah, and what's underneath that? So if underneath that was a need to prove, then now we've hit our dopamine cycle to get that little hit of I've proven. And like you said, was that really what the body wanted and needed? I mean, great to have on our list slowing down, even if we have to use it as a checklist in the beginning. Um, like, when do we get to the point that we really, really understand that um all subconscious shifts and under and seeing what's there, we can take action and do some things. And then, like you said, you got to see the pattern. Even at training, you're getting to see the pattern of like, oh, I needed to be the one to win, to hand it in first, to do the thing. And then we're like, now we get to see where out where else am I doing that? Am I trying to win this fertility journey? And I'm am I trying to be the best at it? Am I trying to get it in the shortest amount of time, right? Like we see the same pattern mapped over to something that's the physical body and doesn't always apply. I have um an amazing client who was wanting, is wanting to have a baby. And as we started to talk through it, you know, she's like, nope, I'm gonna do this is my timeline, this is when the next round is for IVF. Like she's you know, very systematic because she's a very detailed person. And we just got into a deeper conversation of all right, well, what what's gonna happen when you have a baby? And what won't happen when you have a baby? We just I just started asking some deeper questions. And as she started talking, we it went got deep really, really quickly, and she realized that she w wants a ch wants a baby and equally has a belief that she will lose, completely lose connection with someone in her life because of it. And so there was this push and pull of yes, I want this, and I'm a certain age, and this is this is how it's supposed to be, and I was meant to be a mom, and I am going to lose this other person in my life and potentially my career. Those were some competing beliefs that were coming up. And she kind of looked at me like, holy cow, I didn't know, I didn't know that was there. And these were, as you know, Katie, the power of maybe two or three specific questions. I pulled this to the surface. And you know, she has the spiritual beliefs or the energetic beliefs that for her, she's like, Oh gosh, I see exactly why this hasn't happened yet. So separate from physical things going on, because they'd been told that there weren't physical things going on. But she's like, even if there are, of course my body was not receiving this. Like, if this is what I believe will happen as the outcome, I'm not, I'm just we're not gonna do that to ourselves. Our bodies know, you know, they they're so intelligent that it's the person who's driving to work everywhere every day and it's like, this job's gonna kill me. You know, they eventually get the ulcer or the thing that stops them from going to the job because your subconscious is like, hey lady, this is gonna kill you. We're gonna we gotta get you out of this. Because you keep driving there, right? And and it seems so and it's become so obvious when you start to really look at the what what our body does and what our health does, and when you can zoom out enough and realize that the physical symptoms can actually be stopping you from something, and myself included. I had a whole mold detox journey that I took probably six months longer than physically was necessary because I had a belief that was the only way I got help from people. My mom was driving the kids, my husband started making meals, and I really do truly believe I stayed sick much, much longer because when I ran my labs and I'd been doing all the physical things to remove the mold from my body, it was gone. But my mind was like, but that's you're getting help now. Yeah, that's the only way you get some help, you know.

SPEAKER_00: 23:06

Yeah, so what's the secondary gain of some of the ways in which our body might be presenting symptoms or we have these patterns in our lives.

SPEAKER_01: 23:18

And I can I can just even hear possibly a listener in their own mind thinking right now, oh great, so this is my fault. Yep. And I that's not 100% not where we want to go because guilt and shame and that just adds to the energy of and frequency of not a place that's healthy for the body. So that's not where that's not what I mean that by that. That's not where I hope anyone listening goes. And it really starting to sit down and ask, like, what happens if I get this thing I say I want? Whether it's a baby, whether it's a six-pack, whether it's a business, I don't know, but really, really getting clear with yourself. And what do I potentially lose or what do I believe I lose? Because often it's not even really that we'll lose it, but there's somehow, you know, there's some subconscious belief form that we will lose something or lose someone. And as we can get really, really clear with those, it becomes easier to see where we were maybe blocking ourselves. Right. I know when when I'm not open to something, I don't even know that my neighbor next door does the exact thing I need, right? Because I'm not even open to it. So I'm not asking questions. I'm not, I'm not even mentioning it to people. And then the second I'm ready, I'm like, okay, I'm ready to do the thing. And then I'm like, oh my gosh, the neighbors, the neighbors have been my resource for that all along, right? You finally find and quickly. Or social media, Instagram will deliver it right up to you when you're ready.

SPEAKER_00: 24:53

Wow, and isn't that funny? I it just so that our listeners have a little bit of background, like how I came to even do your trainings. Like it was maybe, I don't know, eight, nine years ago. How long has the Zesty podcast been around?

SPEAKER_01: 25:08

Yeah, eight or nine years.

SPEAKER_00: 25:10

That's okay. So yeah, eight, nine years ago, I was sitting with a patient. This was before I had really, you know, dove deeply into fertility as my career. So nine years, I would say. And she's she was like, Oh, you know what? I started listening to a podcast. It's called the Zesty Ginger. You would love it. It's totally up your alley of like hormones and gut health and stuff. And I was like, oh, cool. And I started listening, I was like, Yeah, this is a fun podcast. I like this. And um followed it for a long time and then got to a stretch of life where I just didn't even listen to podcasts at all for like four years, probably. And then maybe, I don't know, three years ago started listening to again. I was like, this is very different content than what you started with. Like you were talking about the subconscious and you were telling the stories of the things that had happened in your life that I had I just related so much to. And I was like, well, this is much juicier. And and I feel like you know, something landed in a way that I I just messaged you on Instagram and we started a dialogue over a period of time that when you started doing the trainings for NLP for providers, I was like, I'm I don't know the timeline of this, but I know that like gut feeling, I have to do this. Like this is not only important for me and my own well-being, but this is something that I can bring into my practice because I was seeing the implications of women doing all of the things, but not getting the result and just feeling like they were spinning out. And I was like, no, there I had a gut feeling that like there's a different way that we can be doing this. It involves slowing down, regulating the nervous system, connecting to intuition. And I think I was intuitively starting to incorporate those, but was like, I am not necessarily qualified to be doing this. What else? What training do I need to do to actually put this into the world in a way that is appropriate? And so that's how I came to actually do your trainings. And it's been incredible to use these tools with my patients and in my program. So thank you.

SPEAKER_01: 27:20

That's basically the same thing that happened for me, Katie. Is that so we were background, we my business partner and I were in functional medicine hormone health space. And I just went to NLP training for personal, just for personal reasons. Just really having a hard time with resentment for some certain people in my life. And I was like, I need some tools, I need some forgiveness. And when I left there, I realized like, oh, these are things that would definitely help with health coaching. I had seen lots of people who like Katie. I feel like I'm very good at I build rapport easily and people tell me things. So they would just dump the information. And I started to connect. I'm like, oh my gosh. So you want to lose weight, but you also know that if you lose weight, this your the mom, your mom, who was so mean to you and told you you had to, and basically you felt like you couldn't get love unless you were a certain size. It's kind of like you're gonna be proving her right. Like we we would just discover these deep connections, and the person was like, Yes, I literally don't want my mom to win, and I'm holding on to extra weight to like keep her from winning, but it's only hurting me. Like, this is crazy. And we'd realize we'd we'd come to these cool realizations. We're like, oh, it was all because of that event when my sister did that thing. And then I'd look at the person and be like, All right, what what do we do now? Like we found it, but how do we change it? And some people just having the realization alone, they could have a huge shift that then there changes their identity, it changes their habits, it changes their beliefs. But for most people, the NLP process was where I found like there are actual tools to speak directly to someone's unconscious mind, to take that critical faculty, take the part of their mind that's blocking change, the part of their mind that wants to keep them the same and safe, help pull that out so that they can actually directly take on something new that they want to take on. And then they have to go live that, live that repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly, so they can really fire in those new neural pathways, they can really become that identity. And as they do, they will find, oh, now I see there's some other layer. Oh, now I see there's an upper limit to success. And just living it, clearing the subconscious, living it, clearing the subconscious. And now I was watching people who had been taking all the protocols and doing all the amazing things. It looked great on paper, and even the stress management and even the meditation, and now. Magically, their hormone levels are shifting. And I'm like, oh gosh, this is so cool. Like, I know the power of the brain and the mind. And it really would blow me away, especially when they were doing the physical body things. It's the eye at the time felt like this, this is the thing. This is all you need to do. But their their belief and their mind was was keeping their body from even absorbing like progesterone, for example. Yeah. And now, oh, look, we can actually use it because we believe we're worthy of healing, because we believe we're worthy of a life that that is looks amazing, or because we believe we're safe to even just be in this world. I find for women, the, you know, there's the am I worthy? But for women, it's also like, am I safe? Most of the beliefs for me go back to, am I safe? Like, am I safe to be visible? Am I worthy? I'm a little more like, yeah, I'm worthy, but when someone's like, Yeah, but are you safe? I'm like, oh, am I safe?

SPEAKER_00: 31:03

And for me, I think it was both. But I mean, safety in the body, especially with conception, it's huge. It doesn't feel safe on a conscious or unconscious level. Like we now know that the ovaries have sympathetic nerve endings in them. So when we are in fight or flight, even if we've adapted to it in such a way that we're like, I'm fine, I don't feel stress. It's like if we have a bunch of tabs open telling us like you're not safe, you have to be vigilant, like that changes our physiology. Totally.

SPEAKER_01: 31:39

And what what you know, I was I experienced such real time when I had um my first daughter and I was in labor and I had it was gonna go to the hospital at any moment. You know, I think I forget how far apart contractions are. This was 15 years ago, but it was the time where I was like, this is the time to go. And um, someone came to the door, it was a very scary situation, and we were told we need to move out where we were living, like in that moment. And I'm in labor. I'm in the middle of full labor, and I'm like, how am I even gonna one walk to the door, two, talk to this person? Three, when I found out what was happening, like, what? We have to move our stuff. And as I'm standing there talking to this man, there was also a police officer and a locksmith, because they were changing the locks. I was like, huh, it's been however many minutes, six minutes, and like clearly, you know, I've not not had a contraction. And then we're still talking 10 minutes later, and I'm like, hmm, okay, body's still paused. And my labor completely paused for the next nine hours. We moved stuff out of the house, like we got out of that very scary situation. And then when we were done, we had all the stuff out. Some amazingly kind person let us move things into storage. We we were all out. My mom's there, my husband's there, and we get into the car and we're like, okay, we're driving to the Airbnb. Like, we're safe, it's fine, we'll figure it out, we're resourceful. And the second I got in that car, I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, y'all. Like, I know you want to go to the Airbnb, but we're going to the hospital. My full labor, right back, right, came right back on, and I went to the hospital and had a baby. And I know, I mean, I know a woman's body and protecting a child. I know how crazy powerful that is. But to experience like it to just stop when it's such a powerful force when it is happening, and for it to just stop, like stress sign, not safe to have a baby here. You're done. That makes me realize how easily it is for our bodies also to be like, hey, I'm I'm not even gonna let you get pregnant, because right, it is not safe to bring a human into this stressful situation because we want only, of course, the best for our family and for our children. And we want to do it in a way that our body knows, like, I can totally handle this, we're in a good place to do it. So at the same time, we're incredibly resilient. So it doesn't take much, right, to be able to get in a place where but that was one of the most powerful examples from my own body, I think I've ever experienced.

SPEAKER_00: 34:27

Yeah, that's that's a wild story, and I'm sure people are gonna be like, okay, I need all the details on that. You can go check out Megan's podcast. She has covered that. Yes, in an episode, all the juicy stories. Um, and I had a I had a not so similar, but like the experience with labor, I was supposed to be in a birth center. And when I arrived, my temperature was slightly elevated. Mind you, it was the end of July in Tucson, Arizona. We'd been in the car for an hour, dropping my dog off somewhere and getting across town to the birth center. And they, this place is kind of known for risking people out at the drop of a hat. So it's like my temperature was a little elevated, and they were like, we don't like it, go to the hospital. And I my water had already broken. Like I my contractions were like four to six minutes apart at that point. And I was like, really? I was pissed. And so I arrived at the hospital leaking. No one had given me like a pad or anything to like be more comfortable. So I'm like pacing around the triage area. The lady's like, would you like to sit down? It's like a fabric chair. And I was so bitchy. I was just like, unless you want amniotic fluid on your chair. No, no, I do not want to sit down. And it, you know, took forever to get a get registered and get a room. And yeah, contractions completely stopped. And then of course they're like, Well, your water's already broken. So we're gonna need to move this along. So we're we want to give you some medication for induction. And, you know, it was just like every step of the way, there was resistance. And it's so interesting how how our bodies respond and how we might be very frustrated with how they're responding, and yet if we can trust that they're always just trying to do their best and keep us safe, can make things a little easier.

SPEAKER_01: 36:20

Yes, I know. We don't always like it, and that body is trying to help us.

SPEAKER_00: 36:27

Yes, and and to absolutely reiterate what you said earlier about you know, if anyone out there listening is like, oh great, so it's it's all my fault. Like all this is coming from me. No, none of none of it is anyone's fault. It is just the ways in which our brain picks up these little toothpicks and programs, a neural pathway, and is like, this is just how we do things now. And so just having the awareness is step one. And if you can bring some compassion to yourself and how you've acted around things or responded to things and how they've been up to this moment, like it can start to change.

SPEAKER_01: 37:10

Well, I think a great way to realize that it's absolutely not our fault is to think about the fact that everything that was formed in the subconscious from our belief standpoint and all of our habits and our strategies were formed under seven years old. So it's our parents' fault. Yeah. So we get to blame someone else, not work, whatever caregiver, right? So anytime there's a strong emotional charge and an event, then whatever we make that mean will be downloaded into the young into the subconscious, right? So if you get yelled at on a trip for being too slow and being in the back, and then you feel like, oh my gosh, I was shamed or that was embarrassing, and you have a really strong emotional response as a five-year-old, then you may have downloaded, like, you got to keep up, right? Like you get yelled at if you're too slow. Okay, great. Now we have that little belief you got to keep up. But then there might be something conflicting later, like something where you're always trying to be the best, and they're like, hey, you're too cocky. Like, don't be so much. You're always trying to be the best, or and you get put down for that. And now you have another, and maybe it's a conflicting belief. And we start to download these one after another, and the stronger the emotion, so it's either through repetition, like being told something or something happening over and over, or a really, you know, significant emotional charge. But either way, these are getting, these are getting formed, and then we're really operating. I mean, we really are operating from that for the rest of our life, unless we learn this kind of process where we're actually going into change beliefs on purpose. I mean, you can change them, but the on-purpose part is the is the key because on if we aren't going for on purpose, then we're always looking to just secure what we already know. It's like when you learn something, you want to be able to just put it in a box, right? Of something you already know, because we delete, we distort, we generalize to make it so that the brain can handle all the input coming in. If we didn't, we'd be figuring everything out from scratch. We just it'd be too much. So, because of that, we're always taking whatever comes in and we're like, okay, that person looked at me in that way. I already kind of have the belief that I'm not doing a great job. So that look must mean this, and then we add to it, and we just keep we just keep building up the resume of whatever those beliefs are. Oh, there's another example. Great, perfect. Put it in that pile and just have our little piles of beliefs, and and then they become really, really strong over time. So that's why it takes the kind of focus process that you and I are doing to then go in and say, here's how this is showing up in the world, here's what you'd actually like, and go in and shift from whatever that original event was so that the person can now have have a new choice. Like now I choose to operate with this new belief and then and then run with that.

SPEAKER_00: 40:17

And choice is so powerful and recognizing that some of this was passed down through generations or through lifetimes, if that's it, your belief system. And that's been a really potent wake-up call for a lot of the clients that I've worked with through this is realizing like, oh, this wasn't even mine. Yeah. And that even that can be like a poof, like such a freeing experience to go like that wasn't even mine to carry. I can I can release that brick from my backpack now.

SPEAKER_01: 40:55

I can let go of grandma's wounding.

SPEAKER_00: 40:58

Mm-hmm. And I wonder if it's like just because we've immersed ourselves in this world, but I I do uh hope, and I th I think it's true that there is more and more waking up to this and more consciousness around this, and even with the idea of conscious conception, like the decision to be the person in the generational line, it's like enough. Like we are done with this trauma, we are done with this pattern, we are done with shame, and this new wave of souls being conceived and coming to earth to be a part of the healing that like I I keep my office at 79 degrees. My husband thinks I'm crazy, but like I got goosebumps just now, which is always kind of my tell to like, yes, yes, you're on the right track, keep going.

SPEAKER_01: 41:49

Yes, I felt that too. Wow. Well, there's so uh yes, it's just I think about my children and the timing of when they came and the parent they found, I do think there's more and more people who are becoming aware of what you just said, the fact that this isn't theirs or that this was passed down generally generationally. I know watching my children, like watching my 15-year-old and the kind of skills she has to um deal with conflict or respond and have a boundary. I'm like, that's not what I did at that age. I would just never talk to them again or run away. Like they, I think my theory is because like social media, you know, or right, the connection of having like devices where they can't really run away from it. Like you I don't feel like they really have a choice of just I'm not friends with that person and never see it again, because they're still connected in this other way that we weren't, or at least I wasn't. And because of that, she is so amazing at speaking direct, directly speaking, and saying, This was not okay. Um, here's what I'd like to happen. And I've heard her even speak to some of her friends' parents on the phone, and it sounds like a therapy session, and she's just so naturally good with her language and naturally good at negotiation and communication and persuasion. And and I do it, it's not just my children, and it's not something I did. I see that so much more in the younger generation. They just, I mean, maybe not everywhere, but the ones I see, they just seem to have these skills and these awareness. So I think that having parents who are willing to do this work were actually changing, you can be changing your epigenetics, you can actually change what your kids then take on. If you drop some generational trauma and release an old event, your child does not have to take that on. Like, how powerful is that? It's just amazing.

SPEAKER_00: 44:05

It is. And I had an example of this yesterday, even I my son and I were going uh to a store because he's very into archery right now, and he needed some new arrows. And he was also looking for this specific type of like archery glove, and they didn't, I didn't see it online at the store. Like, like I was on the site and I was like, I don't see that it's even available in the store. I think we have to buy it online. And he was like, Well, I'm just gonna find someone to ask. And there's a version of like little me that was told, like, it's annoying when you ask too much, right? And so it's like you, you know, you're annoying if you ask for what you want. And like it started to, I could feel it sort of starting to come up with like, no, no, no, don't ask like I can see it here. But I was like, no, like he should be allowed to ask for what he wants. These people are like they work here to help the customers. Like, let's like we can all engage in this. And I but I let him do it. I was just like, okay, if you want to ask, then that's what you want. And and he did. He went and found the first person and they told him it was here, and he went and looked there, and he was like, it's not there. I'm gonna go find a different person. And then that person confirmed that it was online. But like, you know, at the first person, I was like, okay, well, I don't see it. Like, what do you want to do? And he's like, I want to find someone else and ask. And I could feel like the little conflict in me of like, oh my god, like, don't do it, don't don't annoy someone, like, don't try too hard. Like and then the part of me that was like, no, like it's actually really cool that this kid can at nine years old will go find a person who works in the store and ask them clearly for what he wants. So good. They're such a powerful for us. Yes. Oh my goodness, I learned from these kids all day long.

SPEAKER_01: 45:51

And I think really all children are naturally that way. It's just that now a lot of children have parents like you who will allow that because that maybe past generations could have been like, no, you're not, you're not going to talk to this people who work here. Like you're a kid, just get in the car, right?

SPEAKER_00: 46:11

Like you're meant to be seen and not heard, and all of that old old stuff.

SPEAKER_01: 46:18

Right. So they're just given more chances, right? They're they have more and then they build the confidence. I mean, my kids are super confident to talk to people, it's amazing. It's like I did not have that confidence. I know I didn't.

unknown: 46:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 46:34

And I just have this little feeling that all the souls that are kind of lined up waiting to come over are just waiting for us to do a little more of that work. And I I do also want people to know, like, there's because I I realize that at a certain point with this stuff, it can feel like never-ending. Like, there's so many layers. And at what point have I done enough self-work? And at what point have I released enough trauma? And like, do I have to release all of it to get pregnant or to get what I want? And it's like, no, I think it's just a willingness to be in it and a willingness to be present and to notice things that you may not have noticed before and trust the timing of it all.

SPEAKER_01: 47:16

Yeah, it's like our lovely business mentors when somebody raised their hand and said, When is this work over? And he said, When you're dead. And I think it's funny and it's a good reminder that this is a never-ending process, and that doesn't mean you haven't figured it out. And that doesn't mean you won't get the things you want along the way. But really, to think that at some point we will be done with this, I mean, good luck. Because I thought that for a whole long time. And then I'd be like, I must almost be there. It seems like even is there. Exactly. It seemed like there had been enough of that kind of stuff and discoveries that I should be there, Katie, wherever that there was. And then you realize, like, yeah, okay, you just get there wherever it is, and then you create a new goal. And as now, I mean, I live for transformation. I live for those kind of events. I live for, I mean, I don't love being really uncomfortable, and I know there's something good on the other side of it. So it's just a much different view of like, if this is happening in my life at this time, then there is a very specific reason. No matter how shitty it seems or feels or looks, this has to be for my highest good. That's that's just how I choose to live and believe. And with that understanding, and actually, I think this was really highlighted when I went to a training that the training to become an NLP trainer is very, very hard. And it was 18 days. It was really hard on purpose to make you really resilient. So it's like they're doing things on purpose that are hard for you. And because I knew, I knew what they were doing. I mean, I'm like, okay, you're kind of being a jerk, or okay, there's no reason I couldn't have two more minutes. But I knew they were being hard on us so that we would be better, so that we would, you know, really take on these skills. So I didn't get mad. I was just like almost almost kind of grinning, like, okay, fine, those are the rules. And when I left there, I was like, wait, why was I not mad? Because if someone had done that in regular life, I would probably be irritated. But because I knew, I was like, I paid to be in this container where you're gonna be hard on me on purpose. I signed up for this to grow and to transform and get better, then now I'm okay. And so when I left there, I was like, what if I what if I actually just lived like I signed up for this? Some of it's really gonna suck. And I actually know every single part of this is for me. That no, easier said than done. But I do feel like after that, I took that on in so many more situations, and it just really allows the stories that you're telling yourself of why why everything should be great by now, or why if you were better, or why if you would learn more, or why if you deserve more, it would be good. That just would go away, and instead, I'm like, ooh, okay, what's this one about? This one feels very hard. I must be signing up for something really big and just shifts everything.

SPEAKER_00: 50:28

Yeah, because we can't control, we can't control life, and I think the harder we try to grip that control, the more resistance we have. Um, truly the more challenging it is, and maybe it's one of the you know greatest challenges of being human to learn how to surrender and be in the journey versus like just trying to get to the next thing, just trying to control the outcome, just trying to control the timeline. It's like when when we can just accept like I can't control any of that shit. But I can try to become the best version of myself through it. Yep. Absolutely. I'm gonna try to do that instead. I mean, it's that's all we can do. And surround yourself with people who operate similarly, even though we're all different, we all have our own gifts. I think that's been really important for me. Like the the people that I've met through your trainings have been like the people who get that. And you know, not you know, not all of your family members, not all of your friends will really understand some of this when you choose to work with the unconscious, when you choose to surrender the things you don't control, when you choose to uh start letting go of these old patterns and be like the truest version of yourself. Some people are gonna be like, Who are you? And what are you doing? And that's weird. And so surround yourself with people who are like just curious, open-minded, yeah, let's transform this shit together type people.

SPEAKER_01: 52:14

Yeah, you gotta have at least one of those, in my opinion. At least one. The more, the merrier. When you get a whole room full of them like we had last week, it's great.

SPEAKER_00: 52:27

Oh, so much fun. Well, any any like closing thoughts for our listeners? I know that's a big ask, but just the first thing that comes to mind.

SPEAKER_01: 52:39

Yeah, I think that just taking that one that one next step, like that one next area. I think the hardest part is when we zoom out really, really far of like, oh my god, but if this doesn't happen, then I won't have that, and then this won't happen, and then my life will be this way. So we can zoom out really, really far and just look at like the one next part of this. Like, what's the one next step that I want to go well in this process? And what is stopping me from that? Right? Because as soon as we go all the way down the line, like five years down the line, or the timing, or like things that we really can't control, then that just ends up being so much extra, you know, negative emotion in our body and shame and regret and resentment and that kind of thing, which of course doesn't help the journey. So it's like we just be asked, what's this one, what's the one next thing I'm going for? And then discover like what is our strategy to get there? What would be any belief that would be in the way, or any emotion that's in the way? What event, like if you just literally say, Okay, the next thing I want is this, what what comes to mind of like, oh yeah, but I didn't have that in the past because of this? Like anytime there's an event that comes up that says, Oh, that's why I can't have it, we really want to go look at that. We want to go rewire that. Because if that's what's pop anything that pops into your head immediately, though, that's the subconscious. And then you can easily just brush it off. But if it popped up, like it's time to look at it. Just maybe moving moving towards those things that maybe we don't want to look at.

SPEAKER_00: 54:19

Yeah. Well, thank you for being here. How do people find you? How do they learn more from you?

SPEAKER_01: 54:27

Yes, so um, we have a podcast, Becoming Zesty, and Instagram Becoming Zesty, are probably the two best places. Um, but or look up my name, Megan Blacksmith. You'll find you'll find me, you'll find us. Uh, I'm always in there, so send me a DM if you're on Instagram. We have a couple trainings a year. If anyone wants to come do the whole process, become an NLP practitioner. If you want to just come for your personal reasons and really spend six or seven days rewiring, I'm happy to talk to you about it.

SPEAKER_00: 55:01

Yeah, and Ditto here. I mean, it was an incredible process. So, anyone who wants to get an objective feel of that from me. Yeah. The good, the bad, the ugly, but mostly the good.

SPEAKER_01: 55:14

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00: 55:15

You know, the trauma shakes and all that fun stuff.

SPEAKER_01: 55:20

Yeah, you're selling it. Just, you know, you'll be shaking on the floor. It's cool.

SPEAKER_00: 55:26

But truly, thank you so much for the work that you do, Megan. It's uh transformational for me and the ripple effects from me being able to bring this work into my practice and use these tools with my clients and in my program has been game-changing.

SPEAKER_01: 55:43

So I appreciate it. The fact that there's people out there that get to combine your amazing knowledge of the physical body and from a doctor, and combine that with just the shifts at a subconscious level, the emotional body, that's so powerful. And just everyone here, they're just lucky to have you and that there's a practitioner doing this. So thank you for doing that work. I received that.

SPEAKER_00: 56:11

All right, you guys, I will put all of Megan's links to the Becoming Zesty podcast, Instagram, etc., in the show notes. And go check out their podcast. That's that's where I started on my journey with transformation. And it's it's been such a wild and satisfying ride.

SPEAKER_01: 56:35

Thanks, Katie.